Episode 34: David Friendly '78 on Producing Little Miss Sunshine and More
Listen to "David Friendly ’78 on Producing Little Miss Sunshine and More" on Spreaker.
Transcript:
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Welcome to Northwestern Intersections, a Northwestern network podcast where we talk to alumni about their careers. We'll hear what they've done right, what they've done wrong, and the stories behind both. I'm Cassie Petoskey with the Northwestern Alumni Association for advancement team. And today, I'm speaking with David Friendly.
David Friendly graduated from Medill in 1978, and has been a journalist, a movie executive, and a producer of films like Little Miss Sunshine. He is currently the executive producer of the USA Netflix drama, Queen of the South that's entering its fourth season. David, thanks so much for being here with us today.
DAVID FRIENDLY: It's very exciting to be here. And as I was driving up Lakeshore Drive, I had a lot of deja new, as I call it-- deja N-U.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Oh, my gosh. And so we're excited to hear what you've been up to now. Obviously, there's been a few years since graduating from Northwestern. But before we get to that, we'd love to hear more about what was your first job. And that can be after college or before then.
DAVID FRIENDLY: Well, I actually like to go back to tell people when they ask me that. My first job was at Northwestern. I spent four years here going to class but largely ensconced in an office at the Norris Center as the concert chairman. And I tell people not only was it my first real job, but it was my favorite job I've ever had.
I didn't make any money. But I booked something like 40 different bands here to play at Cahn Auditorium in what was then called Dyche Stadium, which is now, I guess, Ryan Field. And it was one of the most exciting and memorable experiences I had, amongst many, at Northwestern.
I used to, actually, book all the bands myself. And I had a whole group of people that helped me. We prepare the food for the backstage. And it was just a fantastic opportunity. I had the chance to bring the Beach Boys here. And I had the chance to pick up Jerry Garcia at the airport. And to this day, that was my first and favorite job.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: That's great. And it seems like it was a pretty big and important job on campus. And I'm curious what you learned in that role that you've taken into all your future roles.
DAVID FRIENDLY: Well, it's really where I got my introduction to producing. Just to take you back a little bit, I grew up in New York. My father was a very famous journalist, Fred Friendly, who was partnered with Edward R. Murrow. And I believed that my destiny was to be a journalist. So that's why I came to Medill. And I learned the trade of being a print journalist.
I wanted to go in print, because my father had been in television. So I honed my writing skills. But as I got into it-- and I spent about nine years in journalism at the Newsweek and The LA Times. I felt this pull into the business as opposed to simply covering it. And a lot of that feeling seemed to be emanating from my experience producing concerts at Northwestern.
So actually the experience of being the activities and organization concert chairman, I think, is what ignited my interest in producing. As strictly as a journalist, I covered the business beat for Newsweek. And I was a staff writer when I was 22, which was kind of crazy.
And then I asked to be transferred to the Los Angeles bureau, because I was very interested in covering entertainment. And I just started writing exclusively about the business of show business. And I was very fortunate to be drafted by Ron Howard and Brian Grazer into their new company, which was called Imagine Films.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Right. And so, David, I know from previous conversations, you told me you've had these three different areas, the producing, the writing. And then you had an executive stint in between that.
DAVID FRIENDLY: Yes.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: OK, so tell me a little bit about what is similar and different about these three areas of your career.
DAVID FRIENDLY: Well, actually, if you go back to the journalism, it was superb training for what I did later in life. Because basically as a journalist, you're searching for great stories. And you're making complicated issues understandable for an audience.
And when I started to work as an executive, which was my first entry into the movie business, I needed to be able to find stories and explain them quickly to my bosses. And so the journalism training was extremely helpful there, because I could read a script pretty quickly and walk into my boss's office and tell him what it was about in under two minutes.
Hollywood is famous for a limited attention span. But everything I did in terms of journalism turned out to be magnificent training for what I would embark on in the film business.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: That's really interesting, talking about how you made complicated issues. You had to simplify that so people would understand and be able to have for in journalism to read your articles and then in the movie business to have that buy in to fund and all that.
So now I'm curious to hear a little bit more about Little Miss Sunshine, because I read a little bit about how it took a while--
DAVID FRIENDLY: Yes, it--
CASSIE PETOSKEY: --to get someone to bite on that.
DAVID FRIENDLY: Little Miss Sunshine was quite a phenomenon, because it took seven years from the day that we optioned the script. It was written by a man named Michael Arndt. And by the time I got to the script, I was running a company called Deep River.
My partner come out of the finance world. He had a company in New York. And we both responded strongly to the script. But it took, as I said, a good seven years to get it up on the screen. It was quirky material. We knew we loved it.
We felt that it was not obvious for the studios, because the studios, typically-- the studios I'm referring to are like Fox and Universal and Paramount-- they were doing bigger movies. But they were all starting these little Indie divisions. And everybody had the same reaction.
They said, well, this is a wonderful piece of writing. But we don't know if it's commercial. We don't know if a big audience will come see it. And eventually-- and I was very fortunate to have this man as my partner, Marc Turtletaub, ended up paying for the movie himself. And that's how the movie got made.
And we made the movie for very, very little money, about $7 million. And it went on to gross over 120 just at the box office worldwide, $120 million. So that is a once in a lifetime-- a movie you're extremely proud of that was a very viable, commercially made, a significant return on investment. And I was sort of like, you get one of those.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah, and a great story. And you have that instinct when you read it.
DAVID FRIENDLY: It's like you kind of know it when you see it. People are always asking, well, what are you looking for? What are you trying to make? And, ultimately, you're looking for a great script, a great story, well told with great characters. They don't come down the pike very often. And I think the gift if you're a good producer, you have the ability to recognize good material. That's a big part of the job. And you have to move on it very aggressively.
Another movie I worked on very early in my career that really helped me get established was called My Girl. Originally, the script was actually called Born Jaundiced-- maybe the worst title in the history of the movie business. But it was a beautiful script. And I got a call from an agent, who said, I have something I think is very special. You have to come to my office to read it. But I think you should look at it right away.
And I went to her office and shut the door, and I read it. And we optioned that script for Imagine that night. And ironically, that film ended up starring Macaulay Culkin after Home Alone and turned into a big success. And it's just what we were just talking about. When you see it, you have to move aggressively. And you have to be decisive.
And what I used to say to my bosses was, look, I love this. If it doesn't work, you can blame me, but please don't prevent me from moving forward on it, because I'm passionate about it. And that's what they want to hear. And that's what everybody wants to hear. If the producer's not passionate, who else is going to become passionate about it?
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah, and it's so interesting hearing you talk about your confidence in these scripts. You have this instinct. And you've also had that instinct, it seems, like in your career more generally. You had this confidence to make moves that have made you successful in what you're doing now. So and it's interesting to see the parallels from the scripts that you have the instincts on.
DAVID FRIENDLY: It's been difficult at times. I was at Imagine Films for seven years. And eventually, I decided that I didn't really want to run anybody's company. I wanted my own company. And that was a big step forward and kind of a gamble. I would love to tell you now, oh, yeah, I knew how long it was going to work out.
But I think for me, I decided that if I didn't take this shot, if I didn't go out there and try to have Friendly Films-- or whatever it was called-- the Time Friendly Productions-- that I would go to my grave regretting not trying. One of the great things about growing up with Fred Friendly as your father was he used to say, as long as you're passionate about what you're doing and giving it your best effort, I will support you.
He didn't care that I chose not to continue my career in journalism and move into the movie business. He just wanted to know that I was passionate about what I was doing. And that gave me a lot of confidence. And I think it's something that is very hard to teach. In order to have the success that we all aspire to, you have to be ready to fail.
There's no other way to say it. You are not going to have the smooth journey on glassy water in 35 years in the movie and television business. It's not going to happen. So you have to be able to embrace the chop, as I like to say, like a choppy sea. It's going to happen. And it did happen for me.
But usually when I followed my instincts, it worked out, whether that was pursuing material or choosing the next opportunity or just adapting to the business and the changes in the business, I had to trust that inner voice.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah, and it's great that you had a mentor in your father who supported your decisions. And what are some of the things that you enjoy most about running your own company?
DAVID FRIENDLY: Well, I love right now-- I spent 25, maybe 25 years doing films exclusively. And I loved producing movies. But then there was sort of a sea change in the business. And it became all about these tentpole movies, which are movies like Batman and Superman, and comic books turned into feature films.
And to be honest, I wasn't that kid. And I wasn't the guy going to those movies. So as the business started to constrict in that way, it really wasn't what I was interested in. I was interested in telling stories in movies with characters. And that resonated with the people that populated the films.
And so that eventually became the province of the television business. And I recognized that. If I wanted to keep doing what I did, I needed to move into television. And so that was something I felt pretty strongly about instinctively. It's time to try to get in the TV game. And that's when I optioned the book, La Reina del Sur, which became the series, Queen of the South.
And that, now, takes up the bulk of my time. It's almost like a school year. We opened the writers room in October. We start shooting in January. We do all the filming and post-production through the beginning of July. And we air in the summer. And then we get a little time off. And we start back up. And we're about to do our fourth season. And we're actually moving the show this year to New Orleans.
So when you say, what do you enjoy, that's quite a big operation. And it's very fast. We do 13 hours per season. And I really love it. I never thought I would say that. I always thought I was going to be a movie guy. But I love the television business, though.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: That's interesting how a career can pivot. And your dreams can change, even. Or your passions can change as you go.
DAVID FRIENDLY: And just to be clear, the things that were happening in the business necessitated the change. It wasn't strictly me choosing to go there. It was that the opportunities were narrowing.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah, and what did you see in this book that you optioned in the story of Queen of the South. Tell us a little bit more about this project.
DAVID FRIENDLY: Well, as a producer, you always need a pitch. The only way to get people to see your vision is to have a pitch where it is called show business. So your story needs to have the potential to have a large audience. And when I read La Reina del Sur-- and I knew it had become a very successful telenovela, which is, essentially, it's a soap opera.
Basically, it's like they have these telenovelas that run on Telemundo and Televisa. And nothing wrong with them. Their audiences are fiercely loyal. But I wanted to elevate that and do a drama for a Latino audience that would be taking that form and making it just a little more credible-- better acting, better visuals, more money being put into the show.
So when I was pitching it, I told the studio I was trying to sell it to that there is the sleeping giant of Latino audience members who spoke English, now, maybe grew up in a house where they only spoke Spanish, and that they were being starved for entertainment. There were no great shows for them. And that audience did come out for the show.
But what's kept the show on the air, in part, has been a different demographic, which is that, as we get research on this every season, the African-American audience is enormous-- the biggest African-American audience that USA has ever had-- USA Network. So the lesson in that, in case there's anybody listening who wants to go into the business, is you have to have a pitch.
It may not end up being completely correct. But when you have a pitch, and you have that confidence, you can sell others. And as long as it works out, it doesn't really matter anymore what my pitch was. But that's what helped get it on the air. Any good producer is a salesman. You have to be a good salesman. A creative salesman-- that's how I describe the job.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah, and it's just interesting to think about how your journalism background is playing into developing the pitch and the stories.
DAVID FRIENDLY: Yeah, it really helped. And I always look back and think, god, I could have crossed over sooner. But I think I needed seasoning. And I think that learning the craft of journalism really helped me. So the point I would like to make is that if people are studying journalism, it doesn't mean they have to stay in journalism their whole lives. That's a tough career right now. Everything's digital. And the economics of the news business have changed pretty dramatically. But it's a great foundation.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah. And it's changing industry. But it teaches you skills that are valuable for sales, for the movie industries for producing all that.
DAVID FRIENDLY: Lots of different businesses, yeah.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Exactly. Thinking back throughout your career, you've had a number of different partnerships. And it seems like there's in a place that networking has played in your career. And I'm wondering if you can talk about how networking more broadly. But also, how the Northwestern Network has impacted your career throughout.
DAVID FRIENDLY: Yeah, I mean, I would say that one of the most important skill sets that I developed partially here at Northwestern but partially just in my life, was having a good social radar and being able to move in different crowds of people and being comfortable with people that I didn't know right away and getting them to trust me.
And I think in our business, it is a big business, but it's a very small business. And people are very judgmental in our business. And they make decisions pretty quickly. They will handicap a person and figure out who they are. And there is a lot of social networking. There's breakfasts, lunches, dinners, premieres, parties.
And the thing that I worked on really hard was getting to know the town and making sure I had as few enemies as possible. And I think that I worked very hard that-- of course, you're going to inevitably have conflict with people. But it was really important to me to overcome those conflicts as quickly as possible, because if you have a difficult reputation, that can really hinder your ability to move forward in the business.
And some of that did definitely emanate from my experience here, because I had to very quickly get all these administration people to trust me. I mean, this was going back to the concert thing-- that was a big responsibility. I mean, I will tell you at one point, I booked the Beach Boys to come here in the winter.
And it was at the stadium where they played basketball. I think it was called Dyche Stadium at the time. And there were 10,000 kids in the auditorium. And we were about to bring the Beach Boys up. And the manager summoned me to his trailer, and said, listen, everybody's here except Mike Love, who was the lead singer.
And he said, do you want them to go on without Mike? Or would you like us to come back in two weeks and do two shows? And I said, well, we booked all of the Beach Boys, not some of the Beach Boys. So I had to get up on stage in front of 10,000 kids, who were ready to watch the Beach Boys, and tell them that there was going to be no concert today.
But there would be two shows in two weeks. And anybody who was at this show and wanted to come to the second show could come for free. I just made that up on my own, because it occurred to me, people aren't going to want to come twice. And it sounds like a great offer.
Anyway, the school ended up-- like we sold out both shows. And the school ended up making a whole lot of money from the ticket sales and everything. But I was like, pretty much had to go in Monday morning and tell them why I did what I did. But I decided on my own. I was 20 years old.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Wow--
DAVID FRIENDLY: Pretty crazy.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: --amazing.
DAVID FRIENDLY: Yeah, and so when you ask about networking and all that, what's great about that experience is there weren't many situations that frightened me in the business, because I'd been doing it. I'd been producing. I just didn't know it.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Right, right. Yeah, you have the experience, and you had situations where you had to think on your feet.
DAVID FRIENDLY: Like I would always say, there were people in the business that could write better. There were people that were smarter, more intellectual. But I always trusted my people skills. That was pretty much one of my best assets, making people feel comfortable with me and being a good listener. These were things that were important.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah, in those points of conflict or those challenging points, you come back to what you know best and your strengths. And there are a lot of alumni that come to the alumni association. They come back to us at these points of challenge or change in their careers. And they're always looking-- they're looking for resources and advice.
And you mentioned there's the ups and downs of career, right. And alumni listening to this episode may be at an up point. Or they may be at a low point in their career. What insights do you have for those folks to find the opportunities that you found in your careers at sometimes?
DAVID FRIENDLY: Well, I think whatever you're doing, the key thing is to just persevere. I hate to use that. It's a bit of a cliche. But people give up too quickly, in my opinion. Whether that was in my life, whether that's a specific project that I was very excited about that I wouldn't give up on that came back around.
Or a relationship with a director or something. I found that it was vital to persevere and not give up, because you can run into a lot of no's. And you have to be careful that you don't let the rejection define you.
So as long as your internal clock is telling you, no, we got this-- I'm still good at this, I think you can let the rejection just sort of go by, because everybody's going to experience it. And how you react to that rejection is probably going to have a pretty large impact on your success. So I just learned pretty early on that I didn't take anything personally. It had nothing to do with me.
Maybe they didn't want what I was selling that week. But I believed that I could get them the next week and staying confident. And that's not easy to do if money's not flowing in. Or there's all kinds of other factors that pollute that. But maintaining your confidence is really important, I think.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah. I like how you talked about how you respond from the rejection is more important than the actual rejection that--
DAVID FRIENDLY: Because everybody's going to encounter it. It's just simply if you have a real career-- I like to say in this business-- you'll have some success, some failure, and some in between. Hopefully more success than failure. But you're never going to have a straight rise that where everything's rosy all the way. It just doesn't work like that.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Right, no, it's definitely true talking to various people who've come back on this podcast hearing about the ebbs and flows of the career. And that's great for our listeners to hear from people who are successful that there are times that not every project you worked on was Little Miss Sunshine.
DAVID FRIENDLY: No, I had many movies and scripts that got made that probably shouldn't have. But I will also say this-- I love what I do. And so as a result of that, it's easier to keep fighting. If I didn't love it, I would have given up a long time ago, because it's really hard. But I love it. I love storytelling.
And somebody once asked me, well, what is it that you love about the movie business? They thought I would say, oh, you get to hang out with movie stars. And you go to premieres. It's nothing to do with that. It literally is the ability to be paid to tell people stories. It's the greatest job in the world.
And when I was a kid at summer camp, my favorite activity-- I did a lot of sports-- but my favorite activity was going to the campfire and hearing ghost stories told. Interestingly, I've never done a horror movie. But I really think, whether it was the journalism or producing movies or writing, it's all the same thing. I'm interested in telling stories and seeing people's reactions to those stories. That's what's exciting about it.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah, and now, hearing that this is your favorite part of your job, what have been some of your favorite stories that you've told, whether through TV, movies, and writing?
DAVID FRIENDLY: Well, obviously, Little Miss Sunshine was sort of the pinnacle. And what I learned from that was-- it's really interesting how many people have come up to me and said, I saw that movie. It was about my family. That's my family up there. And, of course, it's known as a dysfunctional family.
So the lesson to me there was that everybody's family feels dysfunctional. And that was a real turning point for me, because everything came together. It was a great script. We had a wonderful cast. We trusted our instincts. But there have been other movies that I was really proud of maybe not as critically successful.
But I'll give you an example. I was at the newsstand one day, looking at some magazines. And I saw an article about two warring-- the biggest divorce attorneys in Los Angeles. And they referred to them as bombers, because they would come in and destroy the opposition.
And right on the spot, I had the idea to do a movie about two divorce attorneys, who fall in love, who are excellent at deconstructing other marriages but terrible in their own personal relationships. And I actually got that movie made from that moment at the newsstand to becoming a movie. It was called Laws of Attraction with Pierce Brosnan and Julianne Moore.
And we shot the movie in Ireland, because there were big incentives over there. And it turned out to be this incredible life experience. And I'm proud of the movie. I wish it had been a bigger box office success. But that process of standing at the newsstand and looking at a magazine and saying, that could be a good movie. And then seeing it through is very, very satisfying.
I also loved-- the first movie I got full producer credit on was called Courage Under Fire. And it was directed by Ed Zwick, who became a good friend and a mentor. And it was a very, very difficult movie. It was a story about friendly fire told in a kind of a Rashomon-style and starred Denzel Washington, Matt Damon in his first major role in a movie.
And we shot the movie in El Paso, Texas. And it was cold. And it was difficult. And we were recreating Iraq. And I remember at times during that movie, thinking I don't really know if I can do this. I don't know if I have the stamina to do it, because it was a very long shoot, very difficult conditions. But once I got through that, and it went reasonably well, the rest were easier. So it was good to start with something that difficult.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah, in hearing some of the inspiring stories that you've told through these movies, what are some of the things that you're the most proud of throughout your career, whether it be these stories that you told or successes or--
DAVID FRIENDLY: I think the thing I'm most proud of-- and this will surprise you-- is just surviving. I think the business is there's so many people I know who were in the business when I was coming up who are gone, just have-- I wouldn't say they've given up, but they've moved on. They've transitioned to everything.
And I think my ability to hang in there is the thing I'm most proud of. I just want more swings at the plate. I don't give up easily. And I can point to various stories or inspiring experiences or relationships. But I always describe it as the greatest poker game in town. And I don't want to give up my seat. And so far, I haven't had to.
But there have been numerous situations where I had what I thought was the greatest story. And it didn't make it to the screen. We developed a script. That's frustrating and makes me sad sometimes. But I like to keep trying.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah, you loved the process.
DAVID FRIENDLY: Yeah, I really do. I love working with writers. I do writing myself. I'm not a screenwriter. But I enjoy the interaction. And, for example, on the show, we have a writers' room of about eight writers. And I get to interact with all of them and pitch my ideas and hear what they want to do with the season.
And I like that process. I mean, I just really enjoy it. It's not really work to me. What's work to me is when you don't have a show. That's work. Then you gotta find something else.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah, finding the next thing.
DAVID FRIENDLY: When you have something up and running, maybe 200 people in New Orleans and 100 people in LA, and I'm overseeing all of it, that's not work. That's fun.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: That's awesome. Yeah, I've heard that there is a difference between process people and outcome people. People enjoy the process, and people who enjoy the being finished with it.
DAVID FRIENDLY: Right, I like to think of that great quote from Dorothy Parker. They asked her if she liked to write. And she said, she'd like to have written. I'd like to have written. But I enjoy the process. I really do.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: That's great.
DAVID FRIENDLY: I like putting on a show, which takes us back to Northwestern where we put on many shows, including, there was a popular television show on when we were in school called the Gong Show. And it was this crazy, wacky kind of before the world of cable. It was an antidote to the traditional talk show. And it was a crazy funny show.
And so we decided-- my good friend who's went on to a career in television journalism, Glenn Kleiman and I-- decided we were going to do our version of the Gong Show. And I want to tell you this story, because it's a good one about the Northwestern experience. So we said, let's put on the Gong Show.
We'll put up a poster for tryouts. Let's see if we can get into the auditorium at Norris-- I forget what it was called-- and we did it as a lark. We come to enter this talent show. We had some prizes. It was a huge success. They lined up around Norris to come on the night of-- and it turned into this crazy fun event where an actor called Richard Kind went onto a big success on stage and screen was doing imitations of people using just a corkscrew.
We had a soul singer singing a stylistic song called Betcha by Golly, Wow, competing against two identical sisters, who [LAUGHS] were sort of acrobats-- the Remus sisters-- I still remember their name. So it turned into this spectacular event that you could never have seen how successful it was going to be.
And we still were laughing about it. This is 40 years later we were talking about what happened on the night of the Gong Show at Northwestern. And so to answer your question, you can't always tell which ones are going to work. It's just keeping the process consistent. And then when it happens, it's so much fun.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: So special. And I've heard that part of what makes things so special when they work out is that you have the experience of things not working out. You know what it could be. And when it works, it's so exciting.
DAVID FRIENDLY: Yeah, and I think you do learn the most from your biggest mistakes. But sometimes, you're not making a mistake. It just wasn't in the cards. And there's a difference between those two things.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah, and talking about the challenges that you have faced throughout your career, what have been some of the challenges that have left the lasting impact on you?
DAVID FRIENDLY: Well, I think, as I keep referencing my father, but he, obviously, had a big influence on me. And he used to say, it's not what you've done for me. It's what have you done for me lately? So one of the most difficult challenges is when you have something that flopped.
So I'll give you a specific example. I always loved this television show, The Honeymooners. And I wanted to convert it into a feature film. And I got the rights from the studio that controlled at Paramount. And the woman running the studio at the time was a woman called Sherry Lansing, who was a mentor of mine, who had a fantastic relationship with, a Northwestern grad.
And I got the call from somebody who worked with her one day, saying, we want to make the movie. But we think it should be an African-American cast. And I had done a lot of movies with African-American stars-- Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence, Denzel Washington.
And I think as a producer, you're so desperate to get a green light that you get a little influence maybe in the wrong way. It turned out that that was not a good idea. The audience that would come to those films wasn't really familiar with The Honeymooners. And the people that were didn't necessarily want to see that version of it.
So what was a good idea to do as a movie turned into to a less than successful experience. And those are hard to bounce back from, because it's the same amount of work. You never are setting out to make a failure. You're setting out to make a big success.
It was you spend a lot of money. We put together a really good cast. And it just didn't work. And that's hard to bounce back. And then you have to start all over. When you're coming off a hit, you have tons of energy. And you're ready to go right down the road into the next one.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Right, the adrenaline.
DAVID FRIENDLY: Yeah, and then when you're coming off a flop, people are like, so what happened there?
CASSIE PETOSKEY: You're like--
DAVID FRIENDLY: Well, I didn't try to make a flop. It just happened.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: And you talk about it's the same amount of work.
DAVID FRIENDLY: The same amount.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: And the energy--
DAVID FRIENDLY: Sometimes more.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah, and I love hearing these little bits of advice from your father that have come out throughout your conversation. It's really--
DAVID FRIENDLY: There are many.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: --thinking about the great mentors that you have in your life. What have been some of the bits of advice that you've received throughout your career that have really stuck with you?
DAVID FRIENDLY: Well, I think one of the first things I was told early on-- very important-- was to just always like what you hear in grade school but to tell the truth. Everybody makes mistakes. So when you're a young executive, often, there's a fear-- I made a mistake. I don't want my boss to know I screwed up.
But, really, the best solution for that is to march forward, saying, here's what I did. I handled this wrong. But I'm going to fix it. And by being transparent all the time about your mistakes, they are forgiven much more quickly than if you try to cover them up.
So, intuitively, people don't want to admit to their mistakes. But it's what makes you vulnerable. It's what makes you human, and it's forgivable. And I see too many people who are just unwilling to say, I made a mistake when that's the thing that might propel them on to the next level.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah, that's really great advice, to own your mistakes.
DAVID FRIENDLY: Own your mistakes and tell the truth. It's pretty much the best solution. And it's very, very dangerous to start not telling the truth, because, then, you have to remember what you said.
I mean, this is all stuff we learned in fourth grade. I'm not carrying on any great wisdom here. But it's such a slick business. And everybody always seems to be concerned about maintaining their image as having a golden touch or something. I think it's better to just reveal your mistakes and reveal your vulnerabilities, because that's what makes you human.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Mm-hmm, And that's what makes you, you, and uniquely you. Yeah, no, that's great. And David, I know you mentioned that you had a reunion dinner last night. You're back in town for reunions.
DAVID FRIENDLY: Yes, 40th reunion. And it doesn't feel like 40 years. I can tell you that I was driving up Lakeshore Drive coming up from the hotel. And I remembered every turn I've made driving up that beautiful street. One thing I think I did not have context for was just how beautiful Evanston, Illinois is.
I mean, I didn't see it, because I was-- had head down, maybe walking to class or something. It is such a beautiful place. And that campus being on this incredible lake that you can't even see the other side of it. It's just a beautiful spot.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah. And thinking about coming back and the nostalgia-- what does reunion mean to you?
DAVID FRIENDLY: Well, for me, it's very simple. It's about reconnecting with a core group of friends, who I have had since the day I graduated, who we've all sort of stuck together. I have not been to a lot of these kind of functions. But when the 40th came up, this crazy email chain started.
Everybody said, we have to come for the 40th, like it just seemed like the one. But maybe people asked me, what did you take away from Northwestern? What was most valuable? And for me, it was the relationships. I read somewhere-- I think I saw it in a documentary too that in the search for happiness, your success will depend largely on the quality of the relationships you maintain, and how long they can endure.
And by that standard, Northwestern was just a huge success for me, because I do have about 15 or 20 people that I'm still very close with. And we've all connected through social media. That's helped a lot. We're all on Facebook, not necessarily a Northwestern Facebook chain. But we see each other's posts. We keep track of what's happening in each other's lives.
And this was a very special gathering last night, because everybody came back. We all got up and told stories. And it was terrific. So I don't necessarily remember everything that Professor Leopold taught me, who was a famous history professor, whose class I took at 8:00 AM in the winter. Or I had a great mentor in Carl Smith who taught English-- probably still teaches here.
Or somebody like Alfred Appel, who was like the national scholar on Lolita. I don't necessarily remember what we were talking about in those classes. But these relationships are going to be profoundly important in my life and will continue.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah, yeah, that's great. And, David, it's been so fun chatting with you and hearing about more about your career and uncovering these great stories about different projects you worked on and friendships that you created on campus and now, that, obviously, are lasting well beyond that. Do you have any other advice that you may want to share with the Northwestern network today?
DAVID FRIENDLY: Well, I think you have to be careful about how you approach people that you were hoping to get help from. I got a really nice email out of the blue from a guy who was the nephew of a classmate of mine. Classmate was Matt Purdy, who is now the number two or three editor at The New York Times-- great guy, very smart.
And his nephew reached out with a note saying, maybe you remember Matt Purdy. He's my uncle. I would love the opportunity to sit down with you and talk about the business. I'm trying to find my way. It was a really nicely written note. And it was not aggressive. And we met. I said, yes, because of the quality of the note and the sentiment within.
What I think people sometimes fumble on is if I'll go do a talk in front of some people or moderate a screening panel or something, they want to come up. And they want to give me their resume and everything. And maybe that's not the best way to approach somebody. This way I thought was smarter. And we're actually working on something together, now. So that's a nice story.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah, great success story.
DAVID FRIENDLY: And I think the thing is, pick your spots, and make it easy for the person that you're trying to reach out to. Don't smother them, but keep persevering.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: Yeah, keep at it. Yeah, David, thank you so much for spending this hour with us and chatting.
DAVID FRIENDLY: I've enjoyed it.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: It's been great hearing all of the stories.
DAVID FRIENDLY: When I come back for part two, I'll tell you about our road trip to the Kentucky Derby sophomore year.
CASSIE PETOSKEY: That's great. Thanks again.
DAVID FRIENDLY: Thank you.
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CASSIE PETOSKEY: Thank you for tuning into today's episode of Northwestern Intersections. To find more information about the podcast, please visit northwestern.edu/intersections. Have a great rest of your day, and go Cats.