Working with a Jerk

Q: My co-worker—we’ll call him John—is a jerk who makes rude and negative comments all the time. Our boss seems to think he walks on water because he is a real performer. What should I do?

A:  This really is not your problem. John is your boss’s problem, and chances are he knows what John is like. However, your boss may not know how to deal with John, or may be choosing to ignore his behavior because he’s a high-performer.

Just as with many things in life, including professional and personal relationships, you can’t control other people. All you have control over are your own attitudes, behaviors, actions, and reactions.

Obviously, if John’s comments involve sexual harassment or cross the boundary of company policy, then you must report it. If he’s being negative, snide, or rude, however, you need to protect yourself so you don’t get dragged into his drama.

For example, when John says negative, crude, or derogatory things, don’t go along with him in any way or engage in any gossip about others. If he directs comments toward you that you don’t like or that make you uncomfortable, then name it. If you feel bullied by him, say, “You’re bullying me, so stop!” Or, “You’re speaking down to me and I don’t like it.”

If John switches strategies and tries to befriend you (his negative behavior could be a way of getting attention), don’t socialize with him. Keep your interactions with him limited to group or team events.

The most important thing you can do for yourself is focus on your contribution to the team, department, and the company.  Avoid getting so distracted by John and his negativity that it becomes all you think and talk about—so much so that your own performance suffers. As the saying goes, “Don’t let him live rent-free in your head!” John has no business interfering with your performance, so don’t let him. Tune him out!

Chances are your colleagues feel the same way that you do. You don’t want to start bad-mouthing John, of course. However, if a colleague says to you something like, “It really bothers me the way John treats other people and the things he says about others,” now the problem is no longer personal. There is a coalition of colleagues who have the same issue with John.

At this point, you can either go to your boss and say that others have come to you regarding complaints about John’s comments and behavior, or a few of you can go to the boss together. This will take some of the pressure off you, and you won’t give the impression that you have a personal conflict that you’re looking to the boss to solve.

The problem with jerks at work is far more common that you might think. Some organizations recognize that these people and their negative attitudes are toxic to the workplace, even if they are high-performers. In the report entitled “Building the Civilized Workplace,” Lars Dalgaard, CEO of SuccessFactors, one of the world’s fastest growing software companies with revenues over $30 million, said his firm has a rule against employing jerks. For more, read this article on building a civilized workplace.

What happens with John will depend on your boss—not on you. John will most likely be part of your team or department until he is either promoted, transferred, or chooses to leave the company. Unless his behavior becomes so outrageous or offensive that it becomes an HR issue, there is little chance that he will be fired or asked to leave the company.

In the meantime, stop focusing so much on John and concentrate on your own performance. The more you are a positive influence in your department, the greater your contribution and the more your team will be able to counter the toxic effects of John and his comments. Then you will be the one others talk about—how collaborative you are, how good you make others feel, and what a strong performer you are.

Your Extraordinary Career features proven success strategies and advice for recent graduates and young professionals from William J. White, who draws upon a successful corporate career, including as Chairman and CEO of a New York Stock Exchange-traded company.  Bill is now Professor at the McCormick School of Engineering and Applied Science at Northwestern University, and author of the career book for young professionals, ¬From Day One: CEO Advice to Launch an Extraordinary Career.

Got a question? Email Bill White at Bill@FromDayOne.com.

Also from Bill White is an article published on Saturday, December 1st, in the Business Insight Section of the Wall Street Journal.  MIT’s Sloan Management Review, How to Get Ahead by Going Backward.